Saturday, 30 August 2008

Life's too short.

I know more than anyone that life is too short since working as a nurse shows the harsh reality that life can deal and we have to enjoy ourselves while we can. But to what extent? To what cost?

Do we go mad and drink and be merry as much as we want. Do we enjoy our food so much we become porkers and get heart disease where life would be too short! Then comes the battle of the bulge and the constant dieting and feeling like a failure and being pissed off coz everyone else is eating and I can't.

We want that thing in the shop so badly but it's really expensive but bugger it pay day is only 2 weeks away and you really really want it. Then your credit card bill comes and you realise that your pay packet won't stretch so far and that brings money worries.

For years I lived like everyday was my last, especially since my Mum died when I was 23 at the tender age of 44 and I wanted to get the most out of life as I could, but to my detriment. I went mental and did things I probably wouldn't have done had I not lost her. Or maybe I would have? Who knows. I'll never know.

But it was like a red rag to a bull. My mates probably went a bit mad too, one in particular I know for a fact went bonkers. But I did things I'm not proud of and I cringe about now when I think about it but I think that's also probably part of growing up. But even in recent years I think lets do things now before it's too late. I rush head long into things and don't think about the consequences or I think sod it and do it anyway!!

Maybe that's just me and nothing to do with 'life's too short'???

One thing I do know is I do use it as an excuse too many times and I shouldn't really because I should be more responsible!! If I perhaps did act more realistically I could still enjoy myself and have a great time (and not suffer the hang overs too much!) perhaps then I wouldn't need to use the excuse 'lifes too short' anyway and my waist would be slimmer and my bank balance healthier and maybe Heath would still be alive :-(

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