Sunday, 24 August 2008

Getting a portion.

I seem to attract weirdos or something weird always happens to me that wouldn't happen to my friends coz well I'm not really sure how they'd react. I can't imagine what I'm about to tell you happening to some people I know. There are perhaps a couple that it could happen to and it wouldn't be much of a problem.

I had gotten up after a night shift sleep to the roofers knocking on the door, still in my PJ's. It was about half 1 I think. The people who did our conservatory buggered up the new roof we had put on the flat roof so they got someone to come and make good the mess they made.

I was in the kitchen making the guys a drink, there were 2 of them a younger lad and an older guy. They were busy getting on with it when someone came through the gate. I thought it was someone to do with them and he chatted to them a bit before knocking on the conservatory door which was open. He came and stood in the conservatory and I stood at the back door and he told me a neighbours dog had gone missing and could he take a photo of the dog foot prints in the concrete of the conservatory floor (my dog Trump went out the cat flap about half hour after it was laid!) as the prints might belong to the dog and then the photos might help find the dog!

I know I'd been in nights and had just got up so wasn't the full ticket so was a bit like 'WTF is this guy on about?' I asked him if he had a data base of dog prints in case they go missing or commit crimes so their foot prints can be traced. He ignored me and went on to ask the same question 3 or 4 times. I told him my dog had done the prints and he asked to see the dog and asked what sort of dog it was and was I sure it was my dog that did it? After shouting at him that it was my dog that did it and to bugger off he then asked me if we wanted facsias! He had some leaflets in his hand and held them up as if to show me that what he was really here for but they were rolled up so I couldn't see what they were for.

I was just starting to get a bit freaked out and asked him to go when he looked down at my pyjama bottom and refering to the tags at the waist band said 'tell you what duck if you pull those you might get a portion'!

That was it! I demanded he get out my house NOW!! He went outside and carried on talking to the guys outside asking them for a job and I shouted 'bugger off' out the door and he eventually he left the garden.

I called the police to report it. I'm like that, you never know if anything will come of something like that. The police were brill I have to say. A while later after my shower and on my way to school to pick up Hope I saw him at a door down the road leaning in. So I marched up the drive and asked the lady if he was bothering her. She looked a bit distressed and he moved away from the door. I then told him again to bugger off and that he freaking people out and was being a nuisance. He replied 'I'm only doing my job' as if he'd done nothing wrong.

He had been trying to get the woman in the house to look at her shoe rack behind her telling her some bullshit about a feature of it that didn't exist. We then realised the key was in the door and if she'd turned round to look away he could have got the key out the door as he leaned in. Quite scary really.

I told his nibs about it and a couple of weeks later we were out on the bikes and I saw this guy at someones front door. I shouted back to Bruce 'He's that pervert who wanted to photograph the dog prints' We just cycled past and didn't stop. It kind of freaked out a bit to know he knew where I lived although I don't think he's hve remembered, he seemed a sandwich short of a picnic and didn't seem to recognize me at the other ladies house.

There's been nothing in the news about him thank god. But it just made me realise how you think you are OK in your home with the doors unlocked and it's ok. I don't want to get paranoid but this guy just walked into our back garden without batting an eyelid!!

Luckily Trump is pretty good at seeing people off she deosn't know who come into the garden. Daffy the stupid labrador would just wag her tail and give them a lick.

We put a lock on the gate as one day when Hope was about 18 months old we heard her, whilst we lay in bed, out the front of the house with the dog. I looked out the window and there she was in her nappy with her dummy and the dog pottering about out the front. She'd crawled through the cat flat and gone out the gate and round the front! So we put a lock on the gate that weekend.

Now instead of using it so much to keep her in. I tend to use it to keep the weirdos out.

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