Saturday, 23 August 2008

vomiting and g strings and x boxs

What happens in a male brain? In the case of his nibs (Bruce, my husband) doesn't get a lot of things I do. It seems that way for some of my friends and their blokes too. What is that makes a man want to ravage you when you are vomiting in the loo after a night out on the lash?
The female would rub the back of a friend and hold her hair our the way and get their friend a glass of water or if it's their other half would leave them to it and probably say something like 'it's your own fault you twat' when they are calling God through the toilet (he doesn't ever answer coz if he did tell him I want a word with him too). It's probably because I am only wearing my knickers which are g-strings (or were when I was a lass before my apron appeared). But how do men find that erotic? I could't think of anything worse.

My friends husband has just had the snip and I texted her to see how his 'balls' were (my daughter who's 5 says they are 'nuts' coz her friend at school told her) and she said 'apart from the fact he's grumpy she can bend over in peace and can lie in bed without being poked ( with you know what) fondled or harrased!! wow can I have that at least 2 days a week please. Imagine the peace. I could get changed without worry, I could bend over, I could have a bath, I could be naked etc all without the hassle of 'the hands'.

Not only are male brains programmed in that way but what is it about video games? I like my nintendo DS and get addiction to scrabble or somesuch game but combat, football and motor racing???? BORING. His nibs has been without x box for 6 weeks so 'the hands' have been idle with not much to do except pester the hell out of me. I was supposed to stay in yesterday for it to be delivered back but I forgot and took Hope horse riding instead Whoops, his nibs was not happy. He's got to wait til tuesday not to get it and I'm at work 2 nights as well now so not only has he got no x box he's also got no-one to harrass with the possibility of some how's your father if he pesters enough (giving in to pestering with kids is not a good thing so why do I let him get away with it??)

Wish I'd stayed in in a way but I don't care coz I won't be here! :-)

When it is here he's usually watching csi with me them his phone beeps (which is unusual because he has no friends) I know exactly who it is. I call him 'the boyfriend' his nibs looks at me out the corner of his eye and starts to fidget. When I've let him stew for a few seconds I say 'go on then off you go' as if I'm talking to a child that wants to go and play or a dog that wants to jump into the water, and off he goes into the spare room (aptly called the play room)that's when the giggling starts and the yacking. I usually go to bed and read coz there's bog all on TV and even with ear plugs in I can still hear the droning interspersed with titters. It drives me insane. I get up and go to the play room and burst through the door. His nibs sits there trying to keep a straight face looking like a kid caught doing something he shouldn't and I tell him to 'shut the f**k up', he nods and apologizes then as soon as I go out the door it starts again. It's like having a teenager in the house!!
I know he's younger than me but blimey he finally reached his 30's this year. You'd think, wouldn't you that he would grow up a bit.......

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