Friday, 17 July 2009


My lovely doggy has gone forever. Prematurely so. I had her from a pup and she was so cute. Like a teddy bear. My pal.
She's always been a snappy and my daughter has been victim of a few near misses in the past because of pulling her about and not doing as she's told. But stupidly I let her carry on sleeping on my daughters bed. She hates being disturbed whilst she's in bed. Monday night my daughter is faffing about in her room as usual for ages then shouts down to me ' mummy I need a cuddle' I thought she was just using her usual tactics on me to get to stay up.

I just told her to go back to bed. I picked her up from school the following day to see some grazes and a scab on her cheek. It looked awful. She told me she fell out of bed. I didn't believe her. I never even thought that Trump would have done it. She eventually told me she was teasing the dog by blowing on her and she growled at her but my daughter didn't stop so Trump went for her.

She didn't tell me the truth because she knew I'd take Trump away. It all happened so quickly. I 'phoned the vets for advice and it was quite clear what I was going to have to do. I couldn't look at Trump wednesday morning as I knew she would see the pain and betrayal in my eyes. I felt terrible. But I needed to protect my daughter. It could have been so much worse and I don't want to be another headline in the paper and ruin Hope's life with scars on her face.

The vet said bring her down. So we went at 11. She was sedated and quickly fell asleep in my arms at 11.15. The vet took her away and put her to sleep.

I can't believe she's gone. She was such a funny dog. So lively. Feisty, like myself. Never annoyed me or made me sad. Only guilty when I didn't take her out for walks and that as her owner I didn't protect her and keep her safe. She looked at me with such appealing eyes in the surgery. 'please mum let's go home'.

No more tinkling collar and waggy tail. Ball throwing and chasing footballs and cats. Diving into lakes covering herself in weed. No more doggy walks. I'm getting a new bike and so looking forward to going for a big ride with her. Just me and Trump. It's not to be.

I know I've done the right thing but there are so many what if's....
Most of my passwords relate to her. Even my user name has her name in it. It will get easier I know. I just can't believe it's happened so fast and she's gone. I wished I'd cuddled her a bit more before she went but I was affraid she would sense my guilt. Unfortunately Cher keeps playing in my head 'if i could turn back time'. I wish I could. It can't be undone now. It's too late. 8 years have flown by. There will never be another Trumpet woo.

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